Like a fatty boombalah starting a diet tomorrow, every June talk turns to whether this is the year the Blues finally break the shackles. This is it. The players have learned from last year. They’ve learned from Game 1, They’’ll do it for The Chin; they’ll do it for Uncle Laurie; They’ll do it for… SPOLIER ALERT: They didn’t. This match review could end here. But it won’t.
This year, things were meant to be different. For a start, Mal was no longer the head coach of Queensland. But just as everybody knew Uncle Junior was the Boss in name only and Tony Soprano was really pulling the strings, this Queensland team has Mal’s grubby paws all over it. Mal’s comment that “it’s good for NSW to win from time to time”, is the kind of pat on the head you used to give the unco neighbor your mum used to make you play ping pong with whenever you let him win.
What we saw in Game 2 was the kind of performance that NSW have been trotting out since Jarred Mullen was the Great White Halfback. In fact, the only thing more predictable than NSW losing when in a position to win is mainstream media whining about Speak No Inglis being born in NSW. He’s not playing for NSW. Get over it. We are never ever ever getting back together. After all, Pitcairn Island is a more verdant source of organic, fair trade, single origin players. Get it! GEDDIT. Yeah puns are cool man. We like plays on words too. Add us on Snapchat!
Anyways, NSW didn’t make things easy for themselves from the outset. Wade Graham was out. He was never actually in. He tackled Where’s Darryn and now he might never play Origin. Uncle Laurie said “Wade brings something new to the team”. Like what? Bacardi Breezers? Chicken drumette sliders? Frankly, when you’ve been named after a verb, bringing your boots for training is already a win.
Brett Josh Morris was also out. Dylan Walker had the full 80 minutes to conclusively prove that he is the best in NSW at putting his hands on his head after knocking with the try line at his mercy on since Nathan Merritt. And didn’t he just. Of course, no report could fail to mention Michael “AVO” Jennings. Quite how he was able to put in arguably the best ‘worst on field’ performance in Origin history surprised even himself.
The match post mortems focused on the lack of ‘culture’ in NSW, the lack of ‘true’ leaders. For once, Phil The Toad Gould is probably right. We say that only because Wayne Bennett agreed with him. And he knows a thing or two about winning. Clearly, what’s missing is a lack of true grit in NSW. Just as Jeff Bridges had to head out into the Wild West to really learn how to become a man, the Blues have to do something similar.
Short of getting Wayne Bennett in as coach, we think that what our esteemed administrators need is to set up a new state of origin – an Islamic State of Origin. Taking on the hardest men this side of the Levant is the only way to ensure NSW stay vaguely competitive. It’s unlikely to be enough to defeat Queensland in Game 3, but it’d certainly ‘bring something new’ to the team. World peace too. Cool! Add us on Snapchat! Or just watch the vid linked below.