The home of alternative sports commentary

At TippyTappySports, our aim is to bring you the best alternative sports commentary from around the world.

Whether it's football, cricket, rugby league or basque pelota, we'll bring you the kind of entertaining insight that only former captains of the under 9A's have access to.

So keep an eye on our broadcast schedule for upcoming major sporting events.

Follow us on all our social media for updates, snippets, previews and more. Because at TippyTappySports we’re dedicated to the use of sporting cliches – one match at a time.

So mute the tv. And turn up the tippy tappy!

Filtering by Tag: Australia

Australia v Saudi Arabia - A Love Story

Saudi Arabia is a country that is all too often in the headlines for the wrong reasons. Sure, the recent spectacle of President Trump fondling an orb and predicting the next episode of fake news was cool.  After all, it provided a brief respite from the barrage of alleged human rights abuses, censoring of free speech and indiscriminate incarceration that we’ve come to know and love from our Saudi cousins. But Saudi Arabia poses a far more immediate threat to Australia – direct qualification for the World Cup in Russia 2018.  This is why on 8 June 2017, all Australians should check their political sensibilities at the door and either get out to the Adelaide Oval or get down to the pub to support the Socceroos.

The equation for the Socceroos is pretty simple. Win by 3 clear goals and move to second in Group B and pretty much guarantee direct qualification. Or draw/lose, remain in third place and face a play off for qualification. Not just one play off. Possibly two. The first would be against the third placed Asian team in Group A. Win that and then face another play off. Not against an Asian team but the 4th placed team from CONCACAF. At the moment that’s the USA. Let’s hope their keeper has tiny hands. We know their captain does.  

Given all the domestic football that’s on, you might have forgotten that the Socceroos are in the midst of their World Cup qualifying campaign. To be fair, the campaign has been going on since June 2015. That’s not a typo – June 2015. Think back to what you were doing then. Ok stop. Now clean up after yourself. June 2015 is almost a year to the day when the NSW Blues comprehensively demonstrated that victory in 2014’s State of Origin was basically a fluke. Almost six months before the Wallabies would reach the pinnacle in world rugby by being the best team in the world after the All Blacks. Hell, in June 2015 people still genuinely believed signing Lance “Buddy” Franklin on a 10 year contract was a bloody good idea.   

We all know how the match against the Saudis is going to go. It will be a cagey affair with Australia not wanting to commit too many players forward for fear of conceding a goal on the break. The Saudis will remain ‘compact’ in defence which is a polite way of saying they will ‘park the bus, ute and any other armoured vehicle that happens to be around’. Australia will look to Aaron Mooy, he of Huddersfield – and now playing with the big boys in the English Premier League – to inspire. We will look to Tom Rogic to conclusively prove that he does the best Mark Viduka impersonation of his generation i.e. is a gun at club level but goes beyond AWOL in big internationals. Regardless, if it’s 0-0 with ten minutes to play, expect to see lots of footage of Ange Postecoglu lurking in the technical area threatening to go the full Calombaris – no, not underpay his staff but abuse anyone in earshot.

Most importantly, this qualifier will provide cannon fodder for all the soccer ‘haters’ out there as the Saudis look to slow the match down, fake injury and fake concern for fellow human beings. That is not fake news. President Trump would be proud. That’s reason enough to get out there and wear your green and gold. We’re calling it 2-0. To Australia.

This article was first published here

2017 Update: India, Cricket & Vindalosers

It's been a while since our last update so you might think there hasn’t been much happening in the world of TippyTappy Sports. Nothing could be further from the truth. The last few months has seen an intensity of activity to rival the day before an essay is due. Flat panic, abuse of caffeine, self loathing and unfulfilled resolutions to never ever do that again. Ok that last bit might be more indicative of our time at university but hey, it’s part of the rich tapestry that is “making content”. Especially when you do so in India. And call the finished product: Vindalosers.

To give the briefest of recaps, we were lucky enough to have radio juggernaut Southern Cross Austereo come on board and partner with us to make a film in India about cricket; specifically, why it’s so hard for Australia to win at test level in India. We set out with the ambitious task of writing the blueprint for what the Australian test team – and indeed any test team – has to do in order to succeed in India. It’s good to think big. After all, there are 1 billion people in India.

Telling people prior to departure that we were off to India to make a film about cricket was universally met with the same question: have you been to India before? The pause between answer and response was no longer than a nanosecond but looking into people’s eyes during that moment was to relive a Homeric epic in all its glory. The fear, the expectation, the sheer wild eyed intensity as people waited to hear our response “no, never” was immediately replaced with a form of mystical almost transcendental pity – “You don’t know what you’re in for”. Indeed we didn’t.

The only thing more humiliating than being bowled about by a 12 year old is being bowled out by hundreds of 12 year olds. Indeed, we could still be in India and there would be kids lining up to have a crack at the Australian cricketing anti talent who put the pads on – plus an inner thigh pad for good measure – in a pathetic attempt to channel his inner backyard Steve Waugh from the early 90s. That’s not a clumsy dig about India’s huge population – we all know this anyway – but the sheer joy that cricket brings to the people of India is something to be witnessed first hand. Finding a cricket coach in Mumbai whose first lesson consisted of us eating ice cream is a long way from Mr Walker standing behind me with a stump aimed directly at my bum to stop me from backing away. 

Travelling from Mumbai to Delhi to Vizag to Banglaore to Mysore, it was impossible not to be swept up in the pure enthusiasm for cricket – not cricket as highly paid professional sport but cricket as pure play; play that knew no age or gender but did know Facebook friend requests. In fact, we were in more selfies in our time in India than in our entire life. If cricket celebrity be the food of India, play on. Pass me the dhal though. What. Anyways, cricket in India is exhausting, intoxicating and no argument about a leg before wicket dismissal in street cricket – or gully cricket as it’s known – can’t be resolved over cardamom tea prepared by someone’s mother.

Clearly, we were on to something. Australia won the first test. They hadn’t come close to winning a test in India since 2004. Unsurprisingly, we took the credit for that victory. Our invoice to Cricket Australia remains unpaid. No wonder the organization is in turmoil if it can’t pay its critical suppliers let alone its players.

India is as crazy as we had been led to believe. And the Indians are as obsessed with cricket as people say. But don’t take our (written) word for it. Watch the film. Go on.

The preview can be seen here: 


The full 30 minute extravaganza here:


For all the bonus clips, check out our Insta or Facebook. Of course if that’s too hard, just watch them all on the site here under “Video”.