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Filtering by Tag: Donald Trump

Roger Federer and The Miami Age Machine

Overnight Roger Federer, the king of effortless strokeplay and diffident pasta twirls, won his 101st career title, taking out the Miami Open. The Miami Open is an ATP World Tour Masters 1,000 event which, to the uninitiated, means that it’s one of the biggest tournaments outside the 4 grands slam – or is it grand slams – and the end of season ATP Finals. In other words, it’s a big deal. After all, the prize money is over USD$1million. Not that Roger needs any more hard earned. Or coolly earned as the case may be.

The reason why we are banging on about this achievement is because Federer is a tennis champion at the grand old age of 37. Thirty seven. He’s the oldest ATP Tour tournament winner and is the only player this year to have won more than a single tournament. Let that sink in for a nanosecond. [Let’s thought sink in] Federer is relatively ancient and he’s still winning major tournaments. Ok stop. You too Federer.

Just a reminder – Federer is playing professional tennis. He’s not a golfer i.e. someone who walks by lakes and sandpits and whacks a little ball with a big stick and doesn’t even have the self respect to carry the clubs himself. Nor is Federer a goalkeeper, ambling around the 18 yard box and occasionally punching balls away because catching them is too hard. No, not for Our Roger. He’s out there floating around the court, creaming off-forehands, fizzing one handed top spin backhands or flicking half volleys from the baseline, all before apologizing for breaking serve. But never breaking into a sweat.  

Yes, much has been written about Federer previously. His talent is supernatural. His touch is extraordinary. His tears whenever Rod Laver appears contain the elixir of eternal life. His grace and demeanor is unparalleled to the point of nauseating. Father of the year, player of the century, there is nothing he can’t do. He even makes wearing a linen blazer in ivory seem like a good idea. Trust us, it’s not. We’ve done it. Heaps of times. It wouldn’t be so hard to take if he was in his mid 20s with a sunny disposition, fuelled by the misplaced optimism of youth. But he’s not. He’s old. He should be retired. He should be Dad bod friendly. He should be spruiking hair plugs and committing unspeakable acts in broom cupboards. He should be working out what to say during a tell all interview with some shonky media outlet who’s holding a form of Swiss kompromat that would make even Donald J. Trump blush. But he’s not. Sad!

By the age of 37, any right thinking person has glanced wistfully into the rear view mirror and thought to themselves, “how did it come to this?” Ok that might be just us here at TippyTappy Sports. As for Federer, he shows no sign of slowing down. Rather, he is accelerating. His skill is in deciding late, yet moving early. His delay is what gives him his advantage. That is the true mark of genius. Watch Federer play and there’s always a nagging sense that he’s not actually playing the person on the other side of the net. His opponent is not Nadal. It’s not Djokovic. It’s also not Kyrgios mainly because Kyrgios has threatened to make good on his talent but has spent the previous evening playing Fortnite and flossing on a jetski before rolling his ankle while jumping off. No, the only opponent that Federer ever has is himself. He may never win another major. He may never win another tournament. But Federer will always be playing.


Australia v Saudi Arabia - A Love Story

Saudi Arabia is a country that is all too often in the headlines for the wrong reasons. Sure, the recent spectacle of President Trump fondling an orb and predicting the next episode of fake news was cool.  After all, it provided a brief respite from the barrage of alleged human rights abuses, censoring of free speech and indiscriminate incarceration that we’ve come to know and love from our Saudi cousins. But Saudi Arabia poses a far more immediate threat to Australia – direct qualification for the World Cup in Russia 2018.  This is why on 8 June 2017, all Australians should check their political sensibilities at the door and either get out to the Adelaide Oval or get down to the pub to support the Socceroos.

The equation for the Socceroos is pretty simple. Win by 3 clear goals and move to second in Group B and pretty much guarantee direct qualification. Or draw/lose, remain in third place and face a play off for qualification. Not just one play off. Possibly two. The first would be against the third placed Asian team in Group A. Win that and then face another play off. Not against an Asian team but the 4th placed team from CONCACAF. At the moment that’s the USA. Let’s hope their keeper has tiny hands. We know their captain does.  

Given all the domestic football that’s on, you might have forgotten that the Socceroos are in the midst of their World Cup qualifying campaign. To be fair, the campaign has been going on since June 2015. That’s not a typo – June 2015. Think back to what you were doing then. Ok stop. Now clean up after yourself. June 2015 is almost a year to the day when the NSW Blues comprehensively demonstrated that victory in 2014’s State of Origin was basically a fluke. Almost six months before the Wallabies would reach the pinnacle in world rugby by being the best team in the world after the All Blacks. Hell, in June 2015 people still genuinely believed signing Lance “Buddy” Franklin on a 10 year contract was a bloody good idea.   

We all know how the match against the Saudis is going to go. It will be a cagey affair with Australia not wanting to commit too many players forward for fear of conceding a goal on the break. The Saudis will remain ‘compact’ in defence which is a polite way of saying they will ‘park the bus, ute and any other armoured vehicle that happens to be around’. Australia will look to Aaron Mooy, he of Huddersfield – and now playing with the big boys in the English Premier League – to inspire. We will look to Tom Rogic to conclusively prove that he does the best Mark Viduka impersonation of his generation i.e. is a gun at club level but goes beyond AWOL in big internationals. Regardless, if it’s 0-0 with ten minutes to play, expect to see lots of footage of Ange Postecoglu lurking in the technical area threatening to go the full Calombaris – no, not underpay his staff but abuse anyone in earshot.

Most importantly, this qualifier will provide cannon fodder for all the soccer ‘haters’ out there as the Saudis look to slow the match down, fake injury and fake concern for fellow human beings. That is not fake news. President Trump would be proud. That’s reason enough to get out there and wear your green and gold. We’re calling it 2-0. To Australia.

This article was first published here